A little sad.

I don’t know why I feel a little sad today, but I do.  The morning began well when I took the dog outside and found that snow was blowing everywhere.  I stood under the balcony overhang and tried to follow a single snowflake as it was pushed and pulled by the wind.  It sounds trite, but the flake looked so much like it was dancing its way from the sky to the ground.  And then I had to go to work.

Okay, maybe I do know why I feel sad (besides the Jesse Sykes on the iPod).  Work kind of gets me down during the application season.  I can’t go into detail, but it’s hard to read letters from students who really want to get into my program and probably won’t.  There are only so many positions, and there are a LOT of applicants.  Some of them are so sweet and have invested so much in their application materials and I hate knowing that they’ll be disappointed in the end.  Today I was given a small gift by someone who (I’m sure) really couldn’t afford it, and it almost made me cry.  Why are the less afluent cultures usually the more generous ones?

I’ve been wishing a lot lately that I had more time for art, but I’m not entirely sure what I’d draw if I did.  Sometimes I give myself the little pep talk about needing to promote my illustration more, but then I have the huge problem of deciding which style to promote.  My work at RISD fell into at least 3 or 4 different styles that make strange bedfellows.  I’m not sure that I’m ready to ditch 3 of them and settle for 1…and which 1?  I’m meeting with the lovely founder of The Magnolia Paperie this Saturday to talk about cards, and I’m hoping that she can give me a gentle nudge toward a single style that’s attractive, marketable, and enjoyable for me to work in.

Okay, because I said I want to draw more and because I used to have a curious habit of trying to draw my memories, I’m going to post a quick sketch of my memory of this morning.  In this memory, I am standing in our apartment courtyard wearing my husband’s black peacoat and watching my little dog happily inhale puffs of snow.  I wish there was a good way to show snow with pencil; this might have to become a gouache painting someday (vs. a pencil drawing with no composition to speak of).

 snowyday.jpg

Sorry that this post has been so disjointed (and with so many words and so few pictures!).  I’m hoping to be productive over the upcoming three-day weekend, especially since it’s the last university holiday until Memorial Day.  As in May 28.

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